lil' one

i keep deleting this post because i sound like a whiney stupid bitch and noone reads this anyways.
I haven't been eating and I can see myself getting smaller and smaller, my body feels weak as fuck and my hair is falling out. I'm happy but theres something i can't grasp.
I just want to meet a semi nice guy whos sarcastic, likes smoking weed and comic books and has a job and can dress nice.
I just wanna wear cut off denim and flannel for the rest of my life.
I can't stop wanting to throw up, its stress I bet. I gotta get my shit together, I gotta get my own place cause i'm tired of feeling like i'm stepping on my familys toes.
Sometimes when I just sit around I think of all the different possibilities if I had done this or if I had done that.
Everything makes sense looking back on it, but looking forward is so hard.
I just want to lock myself in my room back in PA and just sleep all day with my dog.